There is this attitude that erotica is new or that it is pushing women backwards. I beg to differ. Erotica is not new at all. There have always been writers who have spoken of female sexuality, although perhaps none as openly as it has been discussed in the past decade. However, erotica is not new. It is also not new that women like sex. When people say that writing about sex and writing about women who like sex is degrading to women, it bothers me. First of all, I am a woman. I don’t think it’s degrading. I would not write something that demeaned my entire gender.
Secondly, why is it that men have always been excused in their sexual desires but women having similar desires are demonized? Pornography and prostitution are not new, but it took Fifty Shades of Gray for someone to point out that women might also like sex? Give me a break. For too long, it was normal for a man to go to a strip club for a bachelor party or to watch porn in his alone time. Now there is all this uproar because women, especially married women with children, are turning on their Kindles and reading books about sex. These are not old-fashioned romance novels, either. They are graphic and detailed stories with kinky fantasies played out within them. Yet we are surprised? Why? Should women, once they become wives and mothers, deny their own desires?
Third, it is not demeaning. Liking sex and having kinky fantasies are not the same as being willing to sleep with anyone, anywhere. Blame is thrown at women who create fantasy rather than at the men who cannot tell the difference between erotica and reality. After working fifty hours a week and cleaning the house and getting the kids to bed, women may like to disappear into the life of a college girl who is living her life as a submissive to a domineering boss. That does not mean that the reader wants to go to work and live it. And if she does, who cares? If she and her husband get ideas from the story and it spices up their sex life, good for them. It is not degrading their marriage. In fact, maybe it can help it!
I write erotica because I like sex. It is not an evil act that only men should enjoy or that is necessary only for making babies. It is fun and it gets rid of stress and it feels good. Every day on the news we hear an endless death toll, but if someone mentions sex, it is the end of the world. Our priorities are weird. We can hate easily, but love? We don’t talk about it. I think maybe we need a little more sex in our lives and a lot less violence.
About Sarah Daltry:
Sarah Daltry is a writer of erotica. Her stories range from erotic romance to hot and heavy quickies. She often writes about writing as well as her own escapades at http://sarahdaltry.wordpress.
com. You can also find links to her there (for her books as well as Facebook, Twitter, and all of those other methods of contact). She is working on several things right now, but as per the usual, she cannot commit to any one thing!